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And lo, the Lord sayeth, render a game unto my people based upon Z-List Bible characters. And it was not good. Countdown to when Iron Man bursts through my apartment wall to issue a cease and desist. Then the Goof Troop will haul me off to the big mouse.

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The Fantastic Adventures of Dizzy. On this occasion, Abject Suffering finally comes into its own, transforming into what we always gamed it would be: Thank you for ushering in this apotheosis, Dizzy.

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We fix that this week. We found a game so bad that it broke the show: The Simpsons - Bart vs.

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It's all we ever wanted to do: But it shouldn't have been like this. These aren't the aliens we were told to expect.

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Donald, Scrooge, Darkwing, and Jason Alexander waddle into a liquor store, shades perched precariously on their bill. Each squawks incomprehensibly, as if trying to out-fury each other.

Can't quite settle on a single voice there. We're on to your "spaghetti against the wall" garbage.

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Listen to the end to find out! There are many ways in which a man can be small. Let's take stature as a given. There's also pettiness, deceit, closed-mindedness All of these diminish us.

What else diminishes us?

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Shrink rays of our own design. In the long view, the Ninentdo 64 might be Abject Suffering, the system. In our initial estimate, the NES seemed like the most fertile and hateful ground We're not proud, and we never said we weren't hypocrites.

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